Voices . . .  

        She stood, palms down, absorbing the cold from the bridge's rough, weathered concrete. Looking down at her fingers, she admired the job she had done on her own manicure. The last time, she thought. At least I did that right!

        The afternoon sun warmed her face but could not penetrate the icy turmoil swirling in her soul. Anguished thoughts tumbled around in her head. Accusing voices screamed in defiance of the encouraging words from a man who had proposed days earlier, a man who wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

        If he only knew you, a dark emotion pushed itself forward, the REAL you! Who would want to be with YOU?

        There is only one ANSWER! another voice spat at her.

        She shuddered, her slender frame defying the warmth of the sun. This answer was her only option — an escape — one she’d toyed with most of her 19 years.

        That's why she was here on this bridge. What she thought of herself, what others must think of her, had to stop!

        The concrete scraped her knees as she pulled herself up on the waist-high wall, but she didn't feel the pain. Then, finally, a greater pain tugged her to the ledge. She didn't feel any other emotion, just relief.

        A slight breeze nudged her backward from the rail, encouraging life. Twelve stories below, traffic moved through their usual afternoon pattern, unaware that a life hung in the balance above them.

        She thought, They won’t miss me, as she watched the swirl of ordinary people below.

        No one will miss you, growled that dark emotion as she stepped out.

        Gravity took over. 

Suicide Bridge

        Residents refer to it as the Suicide Bridge. Unfortunately, there is no reliable estimate for how many people have jumped since it opened in 1928. Folks who live and work near here are no longer stunned to hear another person has opted out of life by leaping to their death. Over the last decade, at least 17 people have taken the plunge from Vista Bridge, just west of downtown Portland.

         What was going through their minds? What penetrated the heart of a newly engaged young woman to cause her to hurl herself violently out of this life into eternity? Or a forty-year-old man off the same bridge five months later? Then, a 15-year-old girl who took the plunge from Suicide Bridge less than a month after that. 

         Desperation has a way of painting a distorted reality. Bright hues of one's value are stained by the grays and blacks of lies and emotional wounds of the past.

        Suicide is a growing public health crisis. According to the Centers for Disease Control, Suicide is rarely caused by a single circumstance or event. They break it down to Individual, Relationship, Community, and Societal Risk Factors. The National Institute of Mental Health reports it's the 11th-leading cause of death overall, with more than 48,000 suicides in 2021 in the U.S. It's the second-leading cause of death for people 10–14 and 25–34, and the third-leading cause of death for people 15–24.

        Voluntary death is not limited to those of lower intelligence or the talentless, among famous figures who committed suicide: Sigmund Freud, Cleopatra, Mark Antony, Brutus, Judas Iscariot, Hannibal, Nero, Virginia Wolf, Adolf Hitler, Ernest Hemingway, Sylvia Plath, Vincent van Gogh, Jack London, Dylan Thomas, Judy Garland, Rudolph Hess, Pontius Pilate, Socrates, and possibly Tchaikovsky, and Robin Williams.

Addressing the Voices

         However, effective suicide prevention starts well before the self-destructive individual ever steps onto that bridge. It starts with us and the emotional support systems we create. When the person in pain discovers a different reality from the life they are living, a spark of hope will lead them away from the edge, to lay down the gun, to avoid driving into a tree, or to remove the cap of the prescription bottle.

        What the mental conversations swirling in the heart of the person teetering on the edge of self-harm? What are the seductive voices of circumstances and self-worth that convince the suicidal they aren’t worthy of taking another breath? For the person at the point of suicide, a fractured identity — that name they call themselves — is often justifying the rationality of self-destruction. Because of the layers of pain and disappointment, it seems to make sense.

        Slowing down the avalanche toward suicide starts with unmasking this identity. However, as I learned in my own personal, painful journey, it is also the first step in slowing the free fall of damaged relationships and destructive habits. Recall of the trauma and later events that reinforce its message may bring identification of the name. Still, without hope of a different tomorrow, the tumble toward self-destruction continues.

        Regardless of the cause, the voices that say suicide is the answer must be contested and rebutted. Yet it is likely more than logic to talk someone out of their plan of self-destruction. Beneath the circumstances which have made suicide a reasonable alternative to the pain is a deep hunger – a heart’s cry for real, lasting change.

        When you discover you have a different name — an identity and self-worth not defined by your past, parents, or peers — a glimmer of hope is introduced into the shadows of desperation. The One who created you — the God who held you in His mind before you felt your mother's arms — has an identity if you're willing to embrace His opinion of you.

        Your life circumstances may not drastically change immediately, but this can be a pivotal moment for your heart.The chains of destructive habits and relationships constricting your mind can be broken.

        As I See It, The hope of freedom can turn the desperation in your heart into a Breakthrough for a promising tomorrow.

 

(An excerpt from my upcoming book)